Bite Me (A Love Story, #3)

Review “Moore’s most hysterical ‘love story’ to date.” (Booklist ) “Moore’s twisted take on the undead comes as a welcome respite from the recent spate of TV, film and book offerings to bombard us.” (Edmonton Journal on BITE ME ) “I can’t emphasize enough how funny BITE ME is.” (Bookreporter.com ) “Moore carved a niche in the horror-comedy genre, and anyone with a fiendish sense of humor will love his writing.” (Florida Times-Union on BITE ME ) “Moore proves he has few rivals on the humour-opus front with this high-larious romp that just might have driven the final nail into old Nosferatu’s coffin.” (Ottawa Citizen on BITE ME ) Product Description The city of San Francisco is being stalked by a huge shaved vampyre cat named Chet, and only I, Abby Normal, emergency backup mistress of the Greater Bay Area night, and my manga-haired love monkey, Foo Dog, stand between the ravenous monster and a bloody massacre of the general public. Whoa. And this is a love story? Yup. 'Cept there's no whining. See, while some lovers were born to run, Jody and Tommy were born to bite. Well, reborn, that is, now that they're vampires. Good thing theirs is an undying love, since their Goth Girl Friday, Abby Normal, imprisoned them in a bronze statue. Abby wants to be a bloodsucking fiend, too, but right now she's really busy with other stuff, like breaking in a pair of red vinyl thigh-high Skankenstein® platform boots and wrangling her Ph.D.-candidate boyfriend, Steve (the love monkey). And then there's that vampire cat Chet, who's getting bigger and smarter—and thirstier—by the minute. Abby thought she and Steve could handle the kitty cat on their own, mais non . . . Before you can say ''OMG! WTF?'' Tommy and Jody are sprung from captivity, and join forces with Abby, Steve, the frozen-turkey-bowling Safeway crew, the Emperor of San Francisco and his trusty dogs Lazarus and Bummer, Abby's gay Goth friend Jared, and SF's finest Cavuto and Rivera to hunt big cat and save the city. And that's when the fun really begins.

The city of San Francisco is being stalked by a huge shaved vampyre cat named Chet, and only I, Abby Normal, emergency back-up mistress of the great Bay Area night, and my mangahaired love monkey, Foo Dog, stand between the ravenous monster and a bloody massacre of the general public.

Whoa. And this is a love story? Yup. See, while some lovers were born to run, Jody and Tommy were born to bite. Well, reborn, that is, now that they're vampires. Good thing theirs is an undying love, since they're imprisoned in a bronze statue. Their Goth Girl Friday, Abby Normal, wants to be a bloodsucking fiend, too, but right now she's really busy with other stuff like Chet, who's getting bigger and smarter—and thirstier—by the minute.

Before you can say "OMG! WTF?" Tommy and Jody are sprung from captivity, and join forces with Abby and the entire crew to hunt big cat and save the city. And that's when the fun really begins.

Publishers Weekly

A vampire cat is stalking San Francisco in Moore’s serviceable latest comic horror adventure (after You Suck), and the only humans who can take him down are goth girl Abby Normal and her brainiac boyfriend, Stephen “Foo Dog” Wong. They, in turn, call upon Abby’s masters, vampiric lovers Jody and Tommy, who were on the verge of breaking up until Abby decided to bronze them posed as Rodin’s The Kiss. Also in pursuit of the vampire cat and his minions are the Animals, the night stock crew at the Marina Safeway who hunt vampires in their spare time; a lunatic homeless man who calls himself the “Emperor of San Francisco”; a Japanese printmaker who wields a mean sword; and homicide detectives Rivera and Cavuto. Things become even more complicated with the arrival of three ancient vampires intent on getting some payback. The narrative could use trimming, and much of the humor seems recycled from Moore’s previous vampire tomes, though this won’t matter to the legions of fans who crave Moore’s trademark low horror and high camp. (Apr.)

“Christopher Moore is a very sick man, in the very best sense of the word.”—Carl Hiaasen The undead rise again in Bite Me, the third book in New York Times bestselling author Christopher Moore’s wonderfully twisted vampire saga. Joining his farcical gems Bloodsucking Fiends and You Suck, Moore’s latest in continuing story of young, urban, nosferatu style love, is no Twilight—but rather a tsunami of the irresistible outrageousness that has earned him the appellation, “Stephen King with a whoopee cushion and a double-espresso imagination” from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution and inspired Denver’s Rocky Mountain News to declare him, “the 21st century’s best satirist.” Christopher Moore is a very sick man, in the very best sense of the word. Carl Hiaasen The undead rise again in Bite Me, the third book in New York Times bestselling author Christopher Moores wonderfully twisted vampire saga. Joining his farcical gems Bloodsucking Fiends and You Suck, Moores latest in continuing story of young, urban, nosferatu style love, is no Twilightbut rather a tsunami of the irresistible outrageousness that has earned him the appellation, Stephen King with a whoopee cushion and a double-espresso imagination from the Atlanta Journal-Constitution and inspired Denvers Rocky Mountain News to declare him, the 21st centurys best satirist. San Franciscan goth girl Abby Normal and her brainiac boyfriend, Stephen "Foo Dog" Wong, pursue a vampire cat and his minions, but things become even more complicated with the arrival of three ancient vampires intent on getting some payback. Abby tries to stop a vampire cat that is stalking the city but must eventually resort to the help of the newly-released Tommy and Jody