I am not really here

Tim Allen had a runaway bestseller in Don't Stand Too Close to a Naked Man, netting more than one million copies in hardcover and monopolizing the # 1 position on the New York Times bestseller list in both hardcover and paperback. With his "Home Improvement" still the top-rated show on ABC -- and still in syndication six nights a week, -- Tim Allen indisputably remains America's premiere TV personality.In his hotly anticipated new book, Tim searches for the meaning of life ... (yes, his wife and daughter have left him alone for the weekend; he's got time on his hands). With his characteristic "guy" hilarity, Allen tackles the irritations, delights, and fears of a man looking for answers in an increasingly confused and confusing world. Stumbling around his empty house, he ponders the vagaries of marriage, loss of time for oneself, dealing with children, being mated for life and all its implications. Closing with a chapter on God "What was He thinking when He made woman?" and his final life philosophy, he spurs on readers to make the most of theirs. I'm Not Really Here fearlessly takes on the issues that matter most to the millions of men from their late twenties to earlier sixties who make up Tim's core group of fans. These extremely funny musings from the most hapless male in America equal a home run hit that will out-do even his first enormous bestseller. In his number one New York Times bestseller, Dont Stand Too Close to a Naked Man , Tim Allen regaled us with tales from the male-female front. Now, in Im Not Really Here , he takes a look at men in midlifeand their relationship to wives, children, friends, the universe, God, and why its so tough to get a good nights sleep. The book opens with Tim suddenly waking from a strange dream. Hes been reading late into the night about todays hot scientific topicquantum physicsand what hes learned about the nature of reality really disturbs him. Fortunately, hes got plenty of time to mull it over. Tims wife and daughter are going away on a camping trip, and Tim is left at home with their dog, Spot. At first, hes excited at the opportunity to eat what he wants (bologna and potato chip sandwiches), watch the sci-fi videos he loves, and finish the 1946 Ford hes been restoring so he can deliver it to a car show on Monday. Unfortunately, he cant find the final part: a one-of-a-kind hood ornament. He encounters very strange coincidences, meets people he doesnt know who seem to know too much about him, and wonders if his life is half full or half empty. As he roams from room to room, Tim ponders how we wind up sounding like our parents when we raise our own children (Dont stir your ice cream into soup!), mens fascination with pricey gadgets (Does this drill bit set really cost $89,000?), and how romantic chemistry really works (Its all based on salt). He describes his own rise to celebrity and what its like to buy groceries without wearing a mask. He explores the allure of hot cars, the temptation of fast-food chain prizes which seem to be getting bigger ad bigger all the time (Ill have the happy meal and the Harley, please), and his obsession with his place in the cosmos. Im Not Really Here deals, in the Toolmans inimitable way, with some of the urgent questions a man faces at midlife, from What is real? to what should he eat for breakfast (The gummy cinnamon buns or the cereal no one can pronounce? Moose lips. Mouse licks). This book is a culmination of a five-year journey of self-discovery. It will surprise and challenge, make you wonder and think, and induce laughter on every page. "The book opens with Tim suddenly waking from a strange dream. He's been reading late into the night about today's hot scientific topic - quantum physics - and what he's learned about the nature of reality really disturbs him. Fortunately, he's got plenty of time to mull it over. Tim's wife and daughter are going away on a camping trip, and Tim is left at home with their dog, Spot. At first, he's excited at the opportunity to eat what he wants (bologna and potato chip sandwiches), watch the sci-fi videos he loves, and finish the 1946 Ford he's been restoring so he can deliver it to a car show on Monday. Unfortunately, he can't find the final part: a one-of-a-kind hood ornament. He encounters very strange coincidences, meets people he doesn't know who seem to know too much about him, and wonders if his life is half full or half empty. As he roams from room to room, Tim ponders how we wind up sounding like our parents when we raise our own children ("Don't stir your ice cream into soup!"), men's fascination with pricey gadgets ("Does this drill bit set really cost $89,000?"), and how romantic "chemistry" really works ("It's all based on salt"). He describes his own rise to celebrity and what it's like to buy groceries without wearing a mask. He explores the allure of hot cars, the temptation of fast-food chain prizes which seem to be getting bigger and bigger all the time ("I'll have the happy meal and the Harley, please"), and his obsession with his place in the cosmos. I'm Not Really Here deals, in the Toolman's inimitable way, with some of the urgent questions a man faces at midlife, from "What is real?" to what should he eat for breakfast ("The gummy cinnamon buns or the cereal no one can pronounce? Moose lips. Mouse licks"). This book is a culmination of a five-year journey of self-discovery. It will surprise and challenge, make you wonder and think, and induce laughter on every page."--Jacket