It's All Your Fault

"Paul Rudnick makes me lie hysterical on the floor, screeching with laughter and sobbing with fury that I can't write the way he does." � E. Lockhart, author of We Were Liars and The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks My name is Caitlin and up until forty-eight hours ago I had never: Tasted alcohol, kissed a boy, sang in public at the top of my lungs, kidnapped anyone or � WHAT? STOLEN A CONVERTIBLE? Now I'm in jail and I have no idea what I'm going to tell: The police, my parents, the mayor, all of those camera crews and everyone on Twitter. I have just noticed that: My nose is pierced and I have-WAIT? IS THAT A TATTOO? I blame one person for this entire insane weekend: My famous cousin. Who is also my former best friend. Who I have HATED for the past four years. Who I miss like crazy. NO I DON'T!!!! IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, HELLER HARRIGAN!!!! One last chance. One wild weekend. Flat out the funniest book of the year. "Paul Rudnick makes me lie hysterical on the floor, screeching with laughter and sobbing with fury that I can't write the way he does." — E. Lockhart, author of We Were Liars and The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks My name is Caitlin and up until forty-eight hours ago I had never:Tasted alcohol, kissed a boy, sang in public at the top of my lungs, kidnapped anyone or — WHAT? STOLEN A CONVERTIBLE?Now I'm in jail and I have no idea what I'm going to tell:The police, my parents, the mayor, all of those camera crews and everyone on Twitter.I have just noticed that:My nose is pierced and I have-WAIT? IS THAT A TATTOO?I blame one person for this entire insane weekend:My famous cousin.Who is also my former best friend.Who I have HATED for the past four years.Who I miss like crazy. NO I DON'T!!!!IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT, HELLER HARRIGAN!!!! Seventeen-year-old Caitlin Singleberry is a proper Christian teenager and member of a family singing group, but today she has been given a truly impossible assignment--keep her cousin Heller Harrigan, Hollywood wild child, out of trouble for the last weekend before her first big movie debuts