Let's Pretend This Never Happened. ; (A Mostly True Memoir)

The #1 New York Times bestselling (mostly true) memoir from the hilarious author of Furiously Happy. “Gaspingly funny and wonderfully inappropriate.” - O, The Oprah Magazine When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humour in the strange shame spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it. In the irreverent Let’s Pretend This Never Happened, Lawson’s long-suffering husband and sweet daughter help her uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments — the ones we want to pretend never happened — are the very same moments that make us the people we are today. For every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud, this is a poignant and hysterical look at the dark, disturbing, yet wonderful moments of our lives. “The funniest memoir ever about a talking squirrel, anxiety disorder, couch etiquette, and more. Believe us, Lawson is hilarious.” — Ladies’ Home Journal“Get Ready. Jenny has such a disturbing, ill-mannered, rich sense of humour you will wonder, ‘Am I the sick one for laughing?’ Everyone I gave the book to confirmed: We must all be sick because this book is hysterical...and yet it was also strangely touching at times. It’s one of my favourite books in the past five years.” — Kathryn Stockett, # 1 New York Times bestselling author of The Help 'Even when I was funny, I wasn't this funny.' Augusten Burroughs. For fans of Tina Fey, David Sedaris and anyone who's ever felt like a misfit, an outrageously funny and disturbing memoir from Jenny Lawson, aka The Bloggess. 'When I tell people that my father is kind of a total lunatic, they laugh and nod knowingly. they assure me that theirs is too, and that he's just a "typical father". And they're probably right, if the typical father runs a full-time taxidermy business out of the house, and shows up at the local bar with a miniature donkey and a teddy Roosevelt impersonator, and thinks other people are weird for making such a big deal out of it. If the typical father says things like "Happy birthday! Here's a bathtub of raccoons!" or "We'll have to take your car. Mine has too much blood in it," then yeah, he's totally normal.' When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. that dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a childhood of wearing winter shoes made out of used bread sacks. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humour in the strange shame-spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it. Lawson's long-suffering husband and sweet daughter help her uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human moments - the ones we want to pretend never happened - are the very same moments that make us the people we are today. Like laughing at a funeral, LEt'S PREtEND tHIS NEVER HAPPENED is both irreverent and impossible to hold back once you get started. 'the Bloggess writes stuff that actually is laugh-out-loud, but you know that really you shouldn't be laughing and probably you'll go to hell for laughing, so maybe you shouldn't read it.' Neil Gaiman 'Even when I was funny, I wasn't this funny.' Augusten Burroughs, author of RUNNING WItH SCISSORS In an illustrated memoir, the creator of the Bloggess blog shares humorous stories from her life, including her awkward upbringing in Texas and her relationship with her husband. I was a three-year-old arsonist -- My childhood: David Copperfield meets Guns & Ammo magazine -- Stanley, the magic talking squirrel -- Don't tell your parents -- Jenkins, you motherfucker -- If you need an arm condom, it might be time to reevaluate some of your life choices -- Draw me a fucking dog -- And that's why Neil Patrick Harris would be the most successful mass murderer ever -- No one ever taught me couch etiquette -- Just your average engagement story -- It wasn't stew -- Married on the Fourth of July -- There's no place like home -- A series of helpful post-it notes I left around the house for my husband this week -- The dark and disturbing secrets HR doesn't want you to know -- If you see my liver, you've gone too far -- My vagina is fine. Thanks for asking -- Phone conversations I had with my husband after I got lost for the eighty thousandth time The #1 New York Times bestselling (mostly true) memoir from the hilarious#160;author of Furiously Happy . Gaspingly funny and wonderfully inappropriate. O, The Oprah Magazine When Jenny Lawson was little, all she ever wanted was to fit in. That dream was cut short by her fantastically unbalanced father and a morbidly eccentric childhood. It did, however, open up an opportunity for Lawson to find the humor in the strange shame-spiral that is her life, and we are all the better for it. In the irreverent Lets Pretend This Never Happened , Lawsons long-suffering husband and sweet daughter help her uncover the surprising discovery that the most terribly human momentsthe ones we want to pretend never happenedare the very same moments that make us the people we are today. For every intellectual misfit who thought they were the only ones to think the things that Lawson dares to say out loud, this is a poignant and hysterical look at the dark, disturbing, yet wonderful moments of our lives. Readers Guide Inside Let's Pretend This Never Happened is for anyone who's ever felt like a misfit or thought they were the only ones to think the things that Jenny Lawson dares to say out loud. Like laughing at a funeral, this book is both irreverent and impossible to hold back once you get started