[MAC Security 03] • The Distance Between Us

Addiction ~ NOUN The fact or condition of being addicted to a particular substance or activity. I’m a strong woman. Or at least, I think I am. I used to be so sure about that. I trained everyday, making sure I could take down anyone that I needed to. Mixed martial arts, kickboxing, self-defense, karate. You name it, I’ve done it. I prided myself on being not only physically strong but mentally too. I knew mind games, I knew how to put on a front. I may be small in size but I like to think of myself as a pocket rocket. Quick thinking, fast reflexes. When I was younger, I was known as the delicate little flower, the person people needed to protect, to not let get hurt. I hated it. I didn’t want someone who was paid to protect me, I wanted to be able to do that shit myself and that started with leaving home at eighteen with only a couple of hundred bucks and a bag full of clothes on my back to get away from my father. But I never expected to meet him along the way. The person whose eyes were full of sadness and heartbreak. The person who turned my world upside down and my heart inside out. The problem? He only wanted someone to warm his bed at night, and that was okay for a while. Until I wanted more. Competing with someone who didn’t exist anymore was impossible, and that’s exactly what I was doing when it came to him. There was a time when I thought I could pull him out of the darkness but now I know that won’t happen, not while I’m slipping into that darkness myself and especially not while I’m in a love affair with those pretty little pills. They gave me relief, calmed my body and soul, all the while destroying everything that I worked to become and all that I am. Now? Now it’s just me and them.