Public Practice, Private Law : An Essay on Love, Marriage, and the State

Marriage Is Ordinarily A Public Practice, Supported By As Well As Supportive Of Society. But It Need Not Fall Within The Purview Of The State. Public Practice, Private Law Articulates A Conception Of Marriage As A Morally Rich And Important Institution That Ought To Be Subject To Private Rather Than Legislative Or Judicial Ordering. It Elaborates A Robust Understanding Of Marriage That Captures What Both Different-sex And Same-sex Couples Might See As Valuable About Their Relationships. It Explains Why Sexual Ethics Won't Yield A Normative Model Of Marriage, And Why The Kind Of Marital Love Worth Wanting Can. It Goes On To Show How An Understanding Of Marriage As Rooted In Demanding Commitments Can Allow For Divorce Before Arguing That The State Should Cease To Sponsor Marriages. It Concludes By Suggesting That Both State And Non-state Institutions Should Acknowledge The Marriages Of Same-sex Couples-- Marriage And The Dynamics Of Love -- Love's Obligations -- An Alternate Path To Marital Obligation? -- Gender And The Intimate Contract -- The Limits Of Marital Obligation -- Delinking Marriage And The State -- Same-sex Marriage. With Or Without The State -- Conclusion. Gary Chartier. Includes Bibliographical References And Index. Cover Half-title About the author Title page Copyright information Dedication Epigraph Table of contents Acknowledgments Introduction 1 Marriage and the Dynamics of Love I. Love and Its Trajectory A. Love as Identity B. Love and Marriage II. Occasions for Love A. Physicality B. Other Factors C. The Importance of Circumstance D. Sameness, Superiority, and Safety III. Evocative Responses A. Delight B. Desire 1. Desire for the Other as a Self Extended in Time 2. Desire and the Enlargement of the Self 3. Desire for Communion 4. Sexual Desire C. Care 1. Care and Vulnerability 2. Care as a Response to Revealed Sacredness 3. Care and Otherness 4. Care and Intimacy 5. Care and Empowerment 6. Forming a We as a Kind of Care 7. Love as More than Care D. Attachment E. Friendship IV. Love and Sensation A. Sensations Matter B. The Implausible Consequences of Identifying Love with Sensation C. Love, Sensation, and the Romantic Myth D. Understanding Negative Sensations E. Distinguishing Love and Sensation V. Love, Choice, and Commitment A. Aspects of Decision and Commitment in Love B. The Initial Choice C. Reasons for Valuing One’s Commitments D. The Role of Commitment in Shaping Ongoing Choices in Relation to the Other E. Commitment and Historical Particularity F. Commitment and Unconditional Love 1. The Value of Unconditional Love 2. Reasons for Loving Unconditionally 3. The Appropriateness of Unconditional Love VI. Love, Sex, and Procreation A. Sex and Marital Structure B. Sex and the Recognition of Marriage 1. Romantic Relationships without Sex 2. Childlessness and Marriage C. Sex, Love, and Marriage 2 Love’s Obligations I. Communication II. Vulnerability III. Acceptance IV. Attentiveness and Understanding V. Respect VI. Equality VII. Exclusivity A. The Range of Exclusivity B. The Distinctive Value of Exclusivity C. Exclusivity and the Emotions D. The Derivative Significance of Sexual Exclusivity E. The Risks of Open Relationships F. Erotica and Exclusivity G. Sexual Exclusivity and Subordination 3 An Alternate Path to Marital Obligation? I. Protecting Vulnerability II. Valuing Particularity III. Rejecting Objectification IV. Promoting Bonding V. Avoiding Dis-Integrity A. On Not Undermining Marriage B. The Value of Sensory Pleasure 1. Sensory Pleasure as a Basic Good 2. Sensory Pleasure and Self-Alienation VI. Caring for Children VII. Manifesting Prudence A. Testing Motives B. Reducing the Risk of Bad Judgment C. Prompting Commitment VIII. The Significance of Commitment 4 Gender and the Intimate Contract I. The Shape of the Intimate Contract A. Relational Deficit B. Sex and the Intimate Contract C. Friendship as a Substitute for Marital Intimacy D. Marriage and Intimate Inequality II. Vulnerability, Influence, and Intimacy III. Misunderstanding the Terms of the Intimate Contract IV. Gender Equality and Intimacy in Contemporary Marriage 5 The Limits of Marital Obligation I. The Value of Marital Promises II. Can Marital Promises Bind? III. Qualified Commitments A. Adultery B. Abuse C. Incompatibility D. Other Qualifications IV. Inadequate Consent V. Permissible Injury A. Injury and Integrity B. Avoiding Purposeful Injury C. Divorce and Extrinsic Benefit D. Minimizing Harm E. Avoiding Arbitrary Preference VI. Remarriage after Divorce 6 Delinking Marriage and the State I. A Case for Marital Freedom A. The Value of Freedom and the Presumption against Force B. Information and Incentives C. The Value of Flexibility D. Truth Will Out? E. The Distortion of the Marriage Contract F. Limits on Divorce G. Avoiding Perverse Incentives H. Encouraging Deliberate Commitment II. Challenging the Case for State Involvement A. State versus Society B. Symbolic Messages C. State Recognition and the Stability of Commitment D. A Right to Civil Marriage? E. Disestablishment without Negotiated Agreements? F. The State and Ideals G. The Putative Complexity of Diverse Marital Agreements H. Dubious Terms and Private Bullies I. The Value of State-Conferred Status to the Partners J. Employer Benefits K. Fostering Clarity 1. Marital Goals 2. Dealing with Lack of Clarity about Expectations 3. Identifying Partners 4. Assigning Responsibilities L. Explicit, Negotiated Agreement as Inimical to Commitment M. Contract and Security N. Childrearing and the Definition of Marriage O. State-Recognized Intimate Caregiving as a Partial Alternative P. Minimal Marriage III. Conservatives and State Definition of Marriage A. Marriage and Social Conflict B. The Joy of Unintended Consequences C. Freedom to Define Marriage without State Interference IV. The State and Marriage 7 Same-Sex Marriage, with or without the State I. Natural Law and the Morality of Same-Sex Sex A. The NCNL Theorists’ Objection to Same-Sex Sexual Relationships B. A Defense of Same-Sex Sex C. Is the NCNL Theory the Only Alternative to Sexual Chaos? II. The Virtues of Marriage III. Cooperation with Evil IV. Endorsing Same-Sex Marriage as Acceptable Cooperation with “Evil” A. Fried and Complicity B. The Agent’s Purpose C. Occurrence of the Putative Evil D. Fairness and Efficiency 1. Fairness i. Parental Responsibility? ii. Religious and Associational Freedom? iii. Promoting Virtue? iv. Undermining Exclusivity? v. Supporting Children? vi. An Overemphasis on Emotion? 2. Efficiency V. Natural Law Morality and Same-Sex Marriage Conclusion Index "Marriage is ordinarily a public practice, supported by as well as supportive of society. But it need not fall within the purview of the state. Public Practice, Private Law articulates a conception of marriage as a morally rich and important institution that ought to be subject to private rather than legislative or judicial ordering. It elaborates a robust understanding of marriage that captures what both different-sex and same-sex couples might see as valuable about their relationships. It explains why sexual ethics won't yield a normative model of marriage, and why the kind of marital love worth wanting can. It goes on to show how an understanding of marriage as rooted in demanding commitments can allow for divorce before arguing that the state should cease to sponsor marriages. It concludes by suggesting that both state and non-state institutions should acknowledge the marriages of same-sex couples"-- Provided by publisher Public Practice, Private Law articulates a conception of marriage as a morally rich and important institution that should be subject to private rather than legislative or judicial ordering. It elaborates a robust understanding of marriage that captures what both different-sex and same-sex couples might see as valuable about their relationships.