The Compassionate Family

Today, we live in a world where secularism, individualism and materialism have been aggressively pushed at the human consciousness such that family values are being undermined and eroded. This has resulted in moral decay and other harmful outcomes that prevent the attainment of long-term happiness and stability. Although neglecting family values can allow for a short-lived material fulfilment for some people, the collective prosperity of society cannot be possible without special attention to the family. This book is our humble contribution to this important subject. It is a collection of advice and antidotes provided by Ayatollah Sayyid Ali Khamenei, a theologian, jurist and statesman who holds the post of being the foremost Islamic authority and head of state of the Islamic Republic of Iran. Despite all his engagements, Ayatollah Khamenei often conducts the marriage ceremonies of newlyweds, and this book is a collection of some of his words of advice during those sessions. This book was initially put together by the Sahba Institute in Iran and published in Farsi as a publication entitled ‘Khanevade’ meaning the Family. It is now available in English to share the Islamic teachings on this subject and to present them as an alternative way to attain happiness as opposed to the current material and secular ideas that are prevalent in our society. Much thought went into the naming of this book as we felt the literal translation was not sufficient for its new English audience and after many brainstorming sessions we reached the name ‘The Compassionate Family’ which is inspired by the verse of the Holy Qur’an: “And of His signs is that He created for you spouses from among yourselves so that you may find rest in them, and He put between you love and compassion; most surely there are signs in this for a people who reflect.” (Holy Qur’an 30:21) The book Khanivadeh is a collection of speeches by Ayatollah Sayyid Ali Khamenei regarding the concept of family in Islam. The book is made up of Ayatollah Khameneis speeches, which have been dissected and sorted according to their topics, such that similar speeches or parts of speeches are grouped together, giving the book the form of a lengthy symposium. Ayatollah Khamenei speaks about the philosophy of marriage and family structures, how they affect various social and spiritual dimensions of humans, and the necessity for family structures to function in a divinely encouraged manner. He speaks about the effects of neglecting the Islamic family structure, as seen throughout the West and various Eastern societies. He focuses on the essential role of women in a non-apologetic manner as being the caretakers of this essential societal unit, and exalts the duty of women as those responsible for the social and academic upbringing of a society. He also focuses on the issue of materialism in wedding ceremonies and the various effects this can have on married couples as well as the rest of society. The book Khnivdih presents an ideal model for the Islamic family and should be studied, analysed, and acted upon by Muslim communities around the world in order to protect the religious upbringing of their children, strengthen their communities, and engage in a journey towards God. In Islam, marriage and the formation of a family is regarded as one of the most important objectives for a person to achieve. This importance is demonstrated through the judicial and moral teachings of Islam, which guide us through an array of family issues in order to cater for our spiritual and physical needs. Today, we live in a world where secularism, individualism and materialism have been aggressively pushed at the human consciousness such that family values are being undermined and eroded. This has resulted in moral decay and other harmful outcomes that prevent the attainment of long-term happiness and stability. Although neglecting family values can allow for a short-lived material fulfilment for some people, the collective prosperity of society cannot be possible without special attention to the family. This book is our humble contribution to this important subject. It is a collection of advice and antidotes provided by Ayatollah Sayyid Ali Khamenei, a theologian, jurist and statesman who holds the post of being the foremost Islamic authority and head of state of the Islamic Republic of Iran. Despite all his engagements, Ayatollah Khamenei often conducts the marriage ceremonies of newlyweds, and this book is a collection of some of his words of advice during those sessions. CONTENTS PREFACE I WITH EVERY MARRIAGE A FAMILY IS BORN 1 Marriage and Sanctity 2 Importance of Marriage in Islam 3 The Right Time for Marriage 5 Choosing a Spouse 8 Marriage in the Qur’an 14 The Paragon of Marriage: ‘Ali and Fatimah 16 An Islamic Occasion 19 Strengthening the Marital Bond 24 Being Grateful for Marriage 26 THE FAMILY, THE WORLD’S FIRST INSTITUTION 29 The Role of the Family in Society 29 The Family Institution 35 Family: an Abode of Peace 37 Recognizing the Value of Domestic Work 42 Natural Human Desires 46 Positive Upbringing of Children 49 The Binding Matter of Love 51 Importance of Trust 53 A Covering for One Another 55 Keeping Each Other on the Heavenly Path 58 Marriage: A Spiritual or Material Transaction 63 A New Life of Simplicity 70 The Importance of Accommodating Each 72 Other 72 MEN & WOMEN: THE GENDER ISSUE 79 Gender in Islam 79 The Distinct Roles of Men and Women 85 Islam’s View on Women 87 The Importance of Hijab 94 Conceptualizing Women’s Freedom 99 Honouring Women 102 Women and Society 106 Gender Regulations in Islam 111 The Worth of a Muslim Woman 115 The Role of a Mother 119 The Rewarded Struggle of a Woman 121 CLOSING WORDS OF ADVICE 129 Key Advice to Women 129 Key Advice to Men 133 GLOSSARY 137 INDEX OF QUR’ĀNIC VERSES 141 NOTES 144