To Train Up a Child

Cover -- Title -- Introduction -- Copyright -- Foreword -- Table Of Contents -- Chapter 1 To Train Up A Child -- Switch Your Kids -- Childish Nature -- Obedience Training -- 8220;Tennn8212;Hutt!!8221; -- 8220;Whoa, Horse8221; -- Speak To Me Only -- Training, Not Discipline -- Training Not To Touch -- Plant Your Tree In The Midst Of The Garden -- Touchy Situations -- Obedience Training8212;Biting Babies -- Obedience Training8212;Bowls And Babies -- Come When I Call You -- Never Too Young To Train -- Steps To Obedience -- Excessive Discipline -- Training The Ornery Amish Boy -- Be Assured Of Two Things -- Negative Training -- Purchased Compliance -- Did You Hear What I Said? -- Chapter 2 Childish Nature -- 8220;Behold, The Second Woe8221;! -- God-Given Self-Centeredness -- To Blame Or Not To Blame -- Toward Understanding -- A Spiritual Fetus -- The Dilemma -- Parental Responsibility -- When Drives Become Sin -- Walking After The Flesh -- Walking After The Spirit -- In My Hands -- A Divine Calling -- Chapter 3 Parental Anger -- No More Chances -- License To Disobey -- Anger -- I Made A Child That I DonT Like -- The Fourteen-Year-Old -- Chapter 4 Tying Strings -- Many Strings Make Strong Cords -- Paper Hearts -- Cut Strings -- Strings Left Untied -- The Three-Year-Old Trucker -- Problem Parents -- Cutting Strings -- God Help The Fathers! -- What Can I Do Now? -- Walking In My FatherS Light -- Seeing God In Daddy And Mama -- You Can Re-Tie The Strings -- Chapter 5 The Rod -- 8220;I Love My Baby Too Much To Spank Him8221; -- 1. Understanding The Authority Of GodS Word -- 2. Understanding The Nature Of Love -- 3. Understanding OneS Own Feelings -- 4. Understanding The Character Of God -- God Spanks His Children -- 5. Understanding The Needs Of The Child -- Summary: -- Negative Feelings -- Intimidation -- Guilt And Self-Loathing -- Guilt -- The Power Of 8220;Absolution8221; -- Comforting Rod -- There Was A Miracle Here Tonight -- The Magic Wand -- The Cane, Not The Corner -- Chapter 6 Applying The Rod -- To Do My Duty -- Instruments Of Love -- A Caution To Recipients Of The Millstone Award -- Forms Of Abuse -- Common Scenario -- Chapter 7 Philosophy Of The Rod -- The Teaching Rod -- The Fear Of God -- Understanding Grace -- Chapter 8 Selective Subjection -- I DonT Have To Obey You -- The Older Sister -- Keeping Rebellion Alive -- Blessed Mother, Have Mercy -- Chapter 9 Training Examples -- Striking Out -- Little Foxes Spoil The Vines -- The Proper Response -- I DonT Have The Time -- A Switch At Nap Time Saves Mine -- Obedience -- Three-Year-Old Mother -- Beggars CanT Be Choosers -- The Hard Way -- As The Wheel Turns -- Chapter 10 Safety Training.;Three thousand years ago, a wise man said, "Train up a child in the way that he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it." Good training is not crisis management; it is what you do before the need of discipline arises. Most parenting is accidental rather than deliberate. Imagine building a house that way. We don't need to reinvent training. There are child training principles and methods that have worked from antiquity. To neglect deliberate training is to shove your child into a sea of choices and passions without a boat of compass. This book is not about discipline, nor problem children. The emphasis is on the training of a child before the need to discipline arises. It is apparent that, though they expect obedience, most parents never attempt to train their child to obey. They wait until the behavior becomes unbearable and then explode. With proper training, discipline can be reduced to 5% of what many now practice. As you come to understand the difference between training and discipline, you will have a renewed vision for your family, no more raised voices, no contention, no bad attitudes, fewer spankings, a cheerful atmosphere in the home, and total obedience from your children. Cover 1 Title 2 Introduction 3 Copyright 4 Foreword 5 Table of Contents 6 CHAPTER 1 To Train Up a Child 8 SWITCH YOUR KIDS 8 Childish Nature 21 OBEDIENCE TRAINING 9 “TENNN—HUTT!!” 10 “WHOA, HORSE” 10 SPEAK TO ME ONLY 11 TRAINING, NOT DISCIPLINE 11 TRAINING NOT TO TOUCH 12 PLANT YOUR TREE IN THE MIDST OF THE GARDEN 12 TOUCHY SITUATIONS 13 OBEDIENCE TRAINING—BITING BABIES 14 OBEDIENCE TRAINING—BOWLS AND BABIES 14 COME WHEN I CALL YOU 15 NEVER TOO YOUNG TO TRAIN 15 STEPS TO OBEDIENCE 16 EXCESSIVE DISCIPLINE 16 TRAINING THE ORNERY AMISH BOY 17 BE ASSURED OF TWO THINGS 18 NEGATIVE TRAINING 19 PURCHASED COMPLIANCE 19 DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID? 20 CHAPTER 2 Childish Nature 21 “BEHOLD, THE SECOND WOE”! 21 GOD-GIVEN SELF-CENTEREDNESS 22 TO BLAME OR NOT TO BLAME 23 TOWARD UNDERSTANDING 23 A SPIRITUAL FETUS 24 THE DILEMMA 25 PARENTAL RESPONSIBILITY 25 WHEN DRIVES BECOME SIN 27 WALKING AFTER THE FLESH 27 WALKING AFTER THE SPIRIT 27 IN MY HANDS 28 A DIVINE CALLING 28 CHAPTER 3 Parental Anger 30 NO MORE CHANCES 30 LICENSE TO DISOBEY 31 ANGER 32 I MADE A CHILD THAT I DON’T LIKE 32 THE FOURTEEN-YEAR-OLD 33 CHAPTER 4 Tying Strings 35 MANY STRINGS MAKE STRONG CORDS 35 PAPER HEARTS 35 CUT STRINGS 36 STRINGS LEFT UNTIED 37 THE THREE-YEAR-OLD TRUCKER 37 PROBLEM PARENTS 39 CUTTING STRINGS 39 GOD HELP THE FATHERS! 40 WHAT CAN I DO NOW? 40 WALKING IN MY FATHER’S LIGHT 41 SEEING GOD IN DADDY AND MAMA 42 YOU CAN RE-TIE THE STRINGS 43 CHAPTER 5 The Rod 44 “I LOVE MY BABY TOO MUCH TO SPANK HIM” 44 1. Understanding the authority of God’s Word 45 2. Understanding the nature of love 45 3. Understanding one’s own feelings 46 4. Understanding the character of God 47 God spanks his children 47 5. Understanding the needs of the child 48 SUMMARY: 48 NEGATIVE FEELINGS 49 INTIMIDATION 50 GUILT AND SELF-LOATHING 50 GUILT 51 THE POWER OF “ABSOLUTION” 53 COMFORTING ROD 53 THERE WAS A MIRACLE HERE TONIGHT 54 THE MAGIC WAND 54 THE CANE, NOT THE CORNER 55 CHAPTER 6 Applying the Rod 56 TO DO MY DUTY 56 INSTRUMENTS OF LOVE 57 A CAUTION TO RECIPIENTS OF THE MILLSTONE AWARD 57 FORMS OF ABUSE 58 COMMON SCENARIO 58 CHAPTER 7 Philosophy of the Rod 60 THE TEACHING ROD 60 THE FEAR OF GOD 61 UNDERSTANDING GRACE 61 CHAPTER 8 Selective Subjection 62 I DON’T HAVE TO OBEY YOU 62 THE OLDER SISTER 63 KEEPING REBELLION ALIVE 63 BLESSED MOTHER, HAVE MERCY 64 CHAPTER 9 Training Examples 66 STRIKING OUT 66 LITTLE FOXES SPOIL THE VINES 68 THE PROPER RESPONSE 69 I DON’T HAVE THE TIME 70 A SWITCH AT NAP TIME SAVES MINE 70 OBEDIENCE 71 THREE-YEAR-OLD MOTHER 72 BEGGARS CAN’T BE CHOOSERS 72 THE HARD WAY 73 AS THE WHEEL TURNS 74 CHAPTER 10 Safety Training 76 GUN SAFETY 76 HOT STOVE 76 SINKING FEELING 77 GET OUT FAST 78 TRAIN FOR REALITY 78 SNAP TO IT! 79 CHAPTER 11 Potty Untraining 80 NO MORE DIAPERS 80 A HOSE WHEN HE GOES 81 MANY SWEET RETURNS 82 A NOTE OF WARNING 83 CHAPTER 12 Child Labor 84 WORK DETAIL 84 WIFE, WOULD YOU SAY A WORD? (By Debi Pearl) 86 CHAPTER 13 Attitude Training 88 KEEPING LITTLE HEARTS 88 SURLY TEEN 89 STARTING OVER 89 THROWING A FIT—TEMPER TANTRUMS 90 PERSISTENCE 90 PARENTAL PROTOTYPES 91 THEY BETTER NOT MISTREAT MY BABY 92 WHY IS EVERYBODY ALWAYS PICKING ON ME? 93 BAD ATTITUDE 94 CHAPTER 14 Emotional Control 95 THE AMISH FAMILY 95 SCREAMING TEEN 95 POOR THING, WHERE DOES IT HURT? 96 TOUGH TEENS 96 HOLD STILL 97 THE TUMBLING TOT 98 CRYING BABIES, OR CRYBABIES 98 CHAPTER 15 Training in Self-Indulgence 99 HIS WIFE, SHE ATE NO LEAN 99 INHERITED INTEMPERANCE 100 CHAPTER 16 Bullies 102 IS EVERYONE HAVING FUN? 102 BLOWING UP 102 THE WRONG APPROACH 102 THE RIGHT APPROACH 103 CHAPTER 17 “Religious” Whips 104 HATERS OF GOD 104 GOOD MEMORIES ARE WELCOMED 105 CHAPTER 18 Imitations 106 CHRISTIAN PARENTS’ PARROTS 106 CHAPTER 19 Homeschool Makes No Fools 108 THE SYSTEM 108 CHAPTER 20 The Flavor of Joy 110 REASONS FOR LACK OF JOY 110 THE OTHER REASON FOR LACK OF JOY 111 ROLE MODELS 112 PLANTED IN JOY 113 YOU’VE GOT TO BE KIDDING! 113 WHAT IS THE SOURCE? 114 CHAPTER 21 Personal 116 LETTER TO MY SONS 116 LETTER FROM MOM TO THE GIRLS (by Debi Pearl) 124 CONCLUDING THOUGHTS BY DEBI PEARL 126 CHAPTER 22 Conclusion 127 FINALLY. . . 128 Sixteen Years Later 130 The Family 131 Created To Be His Help Meet | by Debi Pearl 132 KNOW YOUR MAN 132 Jumping Ship | BY MICHAEL PEARL 134 WHAT TO DO WHEN YOUR CHILD HAS JUMPED SHIP 134 Rule One: Accept your son’s decision to divorce you. 135 Rule Two: Give up all perceived parental rights and authority. 136 Rule Three: Pray for your son. 136 Rule Four: Maintain contact on a level that is not smothering to your son. 136 Rule Five: Offer assistance as it is appropriate. 136 Rule Six: Cultivate fellowship with your prodigal. 137 A success story 138 Further reading and study materials by Michael and Debi Pearl 139 Cover -- Title -- Introduction -- Copyright -- Foreword -- Table Of Contents -- Chapter 1 To Train Up A Child -- Switch Your Kids -- Childish Nature -- Obedience Training -- 8220 Tennn8212 Hutt!!8221 -- 8220 Whoa, Horse8221 -- Speak To Me Only -- Training, Not Discipline -- Training Not To Touch -- Plant Your Tree In The Midst Of The Garden -- Touchy Situations -- Obedience Training8212 Biting Babies -- Obedience Training8212 Bowls And Babies -- Come When I Call You -- Never Too Young To Train -- Steps To Obedience -- Excessive Discipline -- Training The Ornery Amish Boy -- Be Assured Of Two Things -- Negative Training -- Purchased Compliance -- Did You Hear What I Said? -- Chapter 2 Childish Nature -- 8220 Behold, The Second Woe8221 ! -- God-Given Self-Centeredness -- To Blame Or Not To Blame -- Toward Understanding -- A Spiritual Fetus -- The Dilemma -- Parental Responsibility -- When Drives Become Sin -- Walking After The Flesh -- Walking After The Spirit -- In My Hands -- A Divine Calling -- Chapter 3 Parental Anger -- No More Chances -- License To Disobey -- Anger -- I Made A Child That I DonT Like -- The Fourteen-Year-Old -- Chapter 4 Tying Strings -- Many Strings Make Strong Cords -- Paper Hearts -- Cut Strings -- Strings Left Untied -- The Three-Year-Old Trucker -- Problem Parents -- Cutting Strings -- God Help The Fathers! -- What Can I Do Now? -- Walking In My FatherS Light -- Seeing God In Daddy And Mama -- You Can Re-Tie The Strings -- Chapter 5 The Rod -- 8220 I Love My Baby Too Much To Spank Him8221 -- 1. Understanding The Authority Of GodS Word -- 2. Understanding The Nature Of Love -- 3. Understanding OneS Own Feelings -- 4. Understanding The Character Of God -- God Spanks His Children -- 5. Understanding The Needs Of The Child -- Summary: -- Negative Feelings -- Intimidation -- Guilt And Self-Loathing -- Guilt -- The Power Of 8220 Absolution8221 -- Comforting Rod -- There Was A Miracle Here Tonight -- The Magic Wand -- The Cane, Not The Corner -- Chapter 6 Applying The Rod -- To Do My Duty -- Instruments Of Love -- A Caution To Recipients Of The Millstone Award -- Forms Of Abuse -- Common Scenario -- Chapter 7 Philosophy Of The Rod -- The Teaching Rod -- The Fear Of God -- Understanding Grace -- Chapter 8 Selective Subjection -- I DonT Have To Obey You -- The Older Sister -- Keeping Rebellion Alive -- Blessed Mother, Have Mercy -- Chapter 9 Training Examples -- Striking Out -- Little Foxes Spoil The Vines -- The Proper Response -- I DonT Have The Time -- A Switch At Nap Time Saves Mine -- Obedience -- Three-Year-Old Mother -- Beggars CanT Be Choosers -- The Hard Way -- As The Wheel Turns -- Chapter 10 Safety Training. To Train Up a Child, first published in 1994, began as a letter to a homeschool mother in answer to her question, How did you train your children to be so happy and obedient? Mike did not consider himself to be an author, nor did Debi possess the means or the knowledge to publish a book. They realized that it was a big subject that could not be put into a few pages, so they wrote a book. Friends and neighbors were consulted, gleaning their views and methods of child training. They analyzed how they were influenced by the traditions they inherited from their parents, and they looked at the methods that were unique to their family. Friends and members of their church periodically read and critiqued the manuscript as it grew to book size. Twenty one years later, To Train Up a Child has sold over 1.2 million copies in twelve languages. TTUAC has been on Amazon s best-seller list several times. This new book has added chapters and several updates. Mike and Debi have received tens of thousands of letters of gratitude and been approached by thousands of young people thanking them for their influence in the way they were raised their parents having implemented the principles expressed in TTUAC. Mike and Debi are humbled to have played a part in so many young people s lives. There has been no editing to modify their stance on spanking. To the contrary, due to the media attacks, they have expanded and strengthened their arguments for traditional, biblical child training. There are now more than a million TTUAC books circulating in the United States that will continue to stand for traditional, biblical parenting The Emphasis Is On The Training Of A Child Before The Need To Discipline Arises. It Is Apparent That, Though They Expect Obedience, Most Parents Never Attempt To Train Their Child To Obey. They Wait Until The Behavior Becomes Unbearable And Then Explode. With Proper Training, Discipline Can Be Reduced To 5% Of What Many Now Practice. As You Come To Understand The Difference Between Training And Discipline, You Will Have A Renewed Vision For Your Family, No More Raised Voices, No Contention, No Bad Attitudes, Fewer Spankings, A Cheerful Atmosphere In The Home, And Total Obedience From Your Children -- Publisher Description. By Michael And Debi Pearl. Twenty-second Overall Printing: New Cover, Fifth Printing: October 2011--t.p. Verso.