Undefeated

The moon hangs low and full, her silvery light reflecting in the facets of black choppy water. Blue and I sit in the cockpit of a sailboat. My eyes scan the open ocean while female Peshmerga fighters sleep all around me—below deck, across benches on the bow, and one curled up on the stern. I cup my pregnant belly, allowing myself room to grieve in this peaceful moment. Rida saved my life... and I got her killed. My old story starts to ride its rails: Everyone I love dies. Tears thicken my throat. My dog, Blue, sitting by my feet, leans more heavily against my leg. I sink my fingers into the thick ruff across his broad shoulders, finding some peace in the warmth there. Blue doesn't die. Rida did, though. Shot in the back. Killed in an instant. The faces of others I've lost crowd my mind's eye. My brother, James, grins at me like he knows all my secrets. Malina winks, her eyes sparkling with joy. I got them killed...