Why It's OK to Not Be Monogamous

The downsides of monogamy are felt by most people engaged in long-term relationships, including restrictions on self-discovery, limits on friendship, sexual boredom, and a circumscribed understanding of intimacy. Yet, a "happily ever after" monogamy is assumed to be the ideal form of romantic love in many modern societies: a relationship that is morally ideal and will bring the most happiness to its two partners. In Why It’s OK to Not Be Monogamous, Justin L. Clardy deeply questions these assumptions. He rejects the claim that non-monogamy among honest, informed and consenting adults is morally impermissible. He shows instead how polyamorous relationships can actually be exemplars of moral virtue. The book discusses how social and political forces sustain and reward monogamous relationships. The book defines non-monogamy as a privative concept; a negation of monogamy. Looking at its prevalence in the United States, the book explains how common criticisms of non-monogamy come up short. Clardy argues, as some researchers have recently shown—monogamy relies on continually demonizing non-monogamy to sustain its moral status. Finally, the book concludes with a focus on equality, asking what justice for polyamorous individuals might look like. The downsides of monogamy are felt by most people engaged in long-term relationships, including restrictions on self-discovery, limits on friendship, sexual boredom, and a circumscribed understanding of intimacy. Yet, a â••happily ever afterâ•• monogamy Cover 1 Half Title 2 Series Information 4 Title Page 6 Copyright Page 7 Dedication 8 Table of Contents 10 Acknowledgments 12 Foreword by Elizabeth Brake 17 Introduction 22 One What Is Non-Monogamy? 32 Introduction 32 What Is Monogamy? 34 Monogamy as a Social Convention 36 Romantic Relationships Are Dyadic 37 Romantic Relationships and Their Exclusivities 40 What Is Non-Monogamy? 44 The Non/Monogamous Spectrum 46 Mapping the Margins of Non/Monogamy: Some Non-Monogamies 49 Cheating/Adultery 49 Polyamory and Polyfidelity 52 Friendship 56 Singles 60 Summary 64 References 65 Two Why It’s OK to NOT be Monogamous 68 Introduction 68 Why It’s NOT OK to Be Non-Monogamous 69 Monogamy Is Natural 69 Divine Ordination 73 Justification From Specialness 76 Sexual Health 79 Jealousy 82 Compersion 85 The TEA Objection 89 Consent and Non-Monogamy 96 Spurious Consent 106 Polyamory Is Harmful to the Society 113 Summary 119 References 119 Three Monogamous and Non-Monogamous Identity 122 Monogamous Identity? 122 Non-Monogamous Identity(-Ies) 128 Summary 134 References 135 Four Why It’s NOT OK for Liberal States to be Monogamous 137 Introduction 137 Political Liberalism and What It Requires of Marriage 140 Plural Marriages 147 Recognizing Non-Monogamies and Some Concomitant Challenges 153 Summary 161 References 163 Five Conclusion 166 Notes 169 Foreword 169 What Is Non-Monogamy? 169 Why It’s OK to NOT be Monogamous 173 Monogamous and Non-Monogamous Identity 177 Why It’s NOT OK for Liberal States to be Monogamous 178 Index 182 Non-Monogamy;,Monogamy;,Love;,Polyamory;,Ethics;,Philosophy;,Amatonormativity Non-Monogamy,Monogamy,Love,Polyamory,Ethics,Philosophy,Amatonormativity