Anger Management For Dummies

Learn to mitigate your anger and take charge of your life Everyone experiences anger from time to time, but when left unchecked or unbridled, this normal human emotion can become disruptive and damage relationships. If you're ready to stop letting anger control your life, turn to Anger Management For Dummies. This trusted source gives you tools to identify the source of your anger—whether it's fear, depression, anxiety, or stress—and offers ways to deal with the "flight or fight" instinct that anger produces, allowing you to release yourself and your life from its grip. Anger Management For Dummies outlines specific anger management methods, skills, and exercises that you can use to take control of your feelings and actions. It provides: Information on the different kinds of rage, including road, air, and office A look at Intermittent Explosive Disorder (IED) and how to manage aggression Advice on how to deal with angry children and teens Details on how anger is related to the "fight, flight, or freeze" response of the nervous system and prepares you to fight (for good or bad) Overcoming anger issues requires support, mindfulness, and a bit of practice—all of which this book provides. When you're ready to face your triggers and change your perspective on the emotions of anger or rage, let Anger Management For Dummies give you the helping hand you need. Title Page Copyright Page Table of Contents Introduction About This Book Foolish Assumptions Icons Used in This Book Beyond the Book Where to Go from Here Part 1 Getting Started with Anger Management Chapter 1 Understanding Anger Defining Anger Choosing Anger Dispelling Common Anger Myths Examining Emotions Getting the Help You Need Chapter 2 Finding Your Anger Profile The Many Faces of Anger Getting annoyed Being irritated Complaining and gossiping Passive-aggressive anger Holding grudges and resentment Expressing hostility, rage, or physical aggression Suppressing anger Expressing effective anger Looking at your style of anger Discovering When Anger Works Making anger your ally Understanding the nature of constructive anger Identifying Your Anger Triggers Being treated unfairly Responding to time pressure and frustrations Experiencing dishonesty or disappointment Encountering threats to self-esteem Struggling in relationships Running into prejudice and discrimination Experiencing physical problems Getting attacked Existential threats Tracking your anger triggers Finding Anger in All the Wrong Places Exploring Anger Feelings: Frequency, Intensity, and Duration Complicating Problems Chapter 3 Deciding Whether to Change The Top Ten Reasons for Not Changing Your Anger People deserve my anger I’m afraid to try changing and failing I don’t like to be told what to do Who would I be without my anger? Feelings can’t be controlled I have to express my anger or I’ll explode Anger makes people do what I want If I don’t show people who’s the boss, I’ll look like a wimp Anger protects me My anger gives meaning to the bad things I’ve experienced The Stages of Change Precontemplation Contemplation Preparation Action Maintenance Termination Working through the stages of change The Critical Costs of Anger Harming your health Sabotaging your career Ruining your relationships A Cost-Benefit Analysis of Your Anger Seeing how a cost-benefit analysis works Considering your own cost-benefit analysis Part 2 Rethinking Anger Chapter 4 Jump-Starting Anger Management Increasing Awareness of Your Angry Feelings Tuning into physiological responses Finding angry feelings Rethinking Your Reactions Be patient Be quiet Lighten up Mastering the Art of Avoidance Avoiding the avoidable Avoiding the company of other angerholics Engaging in Anti-Anger Actions Finding distractions Doing the opposite of anger Crushing candy Chapter 5 Connecting Events to Thoughts and Feelings Reviewing Anger Triggers Holding onto anger from the past for dear life Looking at anger in the here and now Looking ahead for something to feel angry about Knowing the Difference Between Events and Causes Connecting Events, Feelings, and Thoughts Playing poker with John and Dave Banking with Rebecca Chapter 6 Reexamining Angry Thoughts Uncovering Distortions in Thinking Filtering Catastrophizing Looking at the wrong source Overgeneralizing Judging Black-and-white thinking Mind reading I-can’t-stand-its Feeling entitled Smoothing Out Distortions in Thinking Checking the evidence Moderating extremist words Taking the perspective of a friend Becoming more tolerant Seeking diversity in all things Reevaluating intentions Reformulating Distorted Thoughts Dwelling on pain Probing life’s circumstances Practicing Rethinking Chapter 7 Taking the Focus Off Yourself Reviewing Self-Esteem and Anger Flying with balloons of self-esteem Stabilizing self-esteem Becoming Less Competitive Watching Out for Perfectionism Embracing mistakes Pummeling procrastination Part 3 Equipping Yourself with Anger Management Tools Chapter 8 Communicating Assertively with Compassion Discovering Assertion Expressing feelings Saying what went wrong Sharing what you want with compassion Seeing how assertive communication works Avoiding Sudden Escalation Realizing That No One Owns All of the Truth Defusing disagreements and criticism Buffering your own complaints Preventing Venting Expressing Your Anger Effectively Walking away and still having your say Writing: A great way to start Leaving out four-letter words Staying on topic Taking turns Keeping your voice tone low and slow Being Civil Doesn’t Always Mean Being Nice Stop saying “I’m fine” when you’re not Women and assertiveness Chapter 9 Mindfully Managing Anger Accepting Anger Becoming aware of your anger Breaking the automatic anger reaction Stepping aside and letting anger fly by Finding a wise mind Mindfully Living in the Present Mindful practice Mindful meditation Chapter 10 Practicing Non-Angry Responses Defining Brooding Practicing Delayed Brooding Disengaging from Brooding Looking at clouds Dropping the rope Letting go of what might happen Exposing Yourself to Tough Situations Imagining anger Watching the news Practicing with others: Bringing it on Part 4 Managing Anger Hotspots Chapter 11 When You Are Morally Outraged Responding to Injustice Polarizing Politics Finding common ground Stepping away from conflict Looking at Inequities Mad about money Health disparities Fearing the “Other” Chapter 12 Dealing with Anger at Work Identifying Counterproductive Work Behavior Avoidance versus aggression Person versus organization Knowing Who Is Doing What to Whom The disgruntled employee The self-centered employee Enhancing Your Negotiating Skills Developing a Positive Work Environment Making Civility the Norm Speaking Up, Not Out Chapter 13 Understanding and Helping Angry Children and Teens The Origins of Anger Challenges in development Nature Learning Knowing When Anger Is Unhealthy Family discord Conflicts with friends Defiance at school Depression and anger Managing Anger from the Top Down Helping Kids Manage Anger Talking with kids Finding consistency Keeping cool Setting limits Designing rewards and costs (and then following through) Staying away from reassurance Handling tantrums Positive Anger Management for Kids Accepting negative feelings Keeping active Teaching frustration tolerance Giving kids tools for handling anger Avoiding trouble spots Knowing When to Get Help for Angry Kids Getting evaluated Exploring types of therapy Chapter 14 Subduing Anger in Intimate Relationships The Loving-But-Angry Relationship Intimate partner violence The angry partnership When You’re Angry at Your Loved One You may become the person you fear and hate Two wrongs never make a right Healthy boundaries are essential When You’re on the Receiving End of a Loved One’s Anger Eliminate the mental traps Don’t facilitate anger Refuse to be the victim of anger Chapter 15 Rage Behind the Machine What’s the Common Denominator? Warriors: Behind the keyboard or steering wheel Intensity on the Internet Viral emotions and echo chambers Protecting against and preventing cyberbullying Reeling in Road Rage Be the other driver Take the “I” out of driver Look on the bright side Realize that they are not the enemy Part 5 Handling Anger from the Past Chapter 16 Letting Go of Past Anger Living Without Resolution Recognizing anger in post-traumatic stress disorder Accepting rather than suppressing anger Being nice doesn’t mean being powerless Telling Your Story Your Way Make yourself the audience Use the first person Don’t worry about grammar Focus on the negative Establish causal connections Write until time is up Don’t let emotions get in the way Suspend judgment Stick to pen and pencil, or not Find a quiet place Take time to reflect Chapter 17 Finding Forgiveness Forgiveness Is Never Easy Forgiving takes time Forgiving requires support Forgiving demands sacrifice Preparing to Forgive Staying safe Accepting the frailty of human nature A Cost-Benefit Analysis of Forgiveness Accepting the Finality of Being Wronged You don’t have to forget the past Choose pain over anger Chapter 18 Preventing Relapse Anticipating Bumps Getting sick, injured, or hurt Steeped in stress Lingering losses Slipping up for no good reason Preparing a Relapse Plan Rethinking slip-ups Trying what worked before Trying something different Seeking feedback Calming down Incentivizing yourself Part 6 Living Beyond Anger Chapter 19 Soothing Stress Examining Stress and Strain Staying Away from Stress Carriers Recognizing the Sources of Your Stress Looking at Types of Stress Cumulative and chronic stress Catastrophic stress Multitasking stress Avoiding Burnout Discovering How to Be Hardy Be the master of your own destiny Be a player, not a spectator Transform catastrophes into challenges Coping with Stress: What Works and What Doesn’t Chapter 20 Balancing Your Body Softening Moods Through Exercise Making time Finding the motivation Reviewing the types of exercise Getting Enough Zzzs What sleep can do for you Rating the quality of your sleep Improving the quality of your sleep Knowing what to do when good sleep eludes your best efforts Determining Whether Substances Are Messing with Your Anger Connecting your anger and substance intake Moderating your substances Curbing Consumption Cravings Looking at Medication Options Chapter 21 Building Social Support Building Quality, Not Quantity, Support Volunteering Participating in self-help groups Looking for friends Hosting block parties Conversing wherever you are Joining a gym Prioritizing Friends Emphasizing listening over talking Asking for what you need Empathizing with others Chapter 22 Finding Meaning and Purpose Putting Your Values at Center Stage Writing Your Own Epitaph Acquiring the Gratitude Habit Finding Flow Searching for Healthy Pleasures Looking at the Glass as Half Full Practicing Compassion Being Humble: It Helps Part 7 The Part of Tens Chapter 23 Ten Ways to Deal with Angry People Apologizing and Listening Deeply Controlling Pace, Space, and Breath Asking for Clarification Speaking Softly Connecting Dropping Defensiveness: Verbally and Nonverbally Finding Agreement Where You Can Expressing Understanding Developing Distractions Considering a Timeout Chapter 24 Ten Ways to Decrease Anger with Compassion Embracing Acceptance Looking for Commonalities Practicing Acts of Kindness Listening More Forgiving Saying Thank You Becoming Less Judgmental Having Fun Smiling and Saying Hello Opening More Doors Chapter 25 Ten Anti-Anger Thoughts No One Can Make You Angry Without Your Participation What Goes Around Comes Around It’s Only Money Other People Are Not the Enemy Life Isn’t Fair and Never Will Be Energy Is a Limited Resource We’re All Human After All This Isn’t the Hill You Want to Die On Nothing You Can Achieve in Anger Can’t Be Achieved Without It You’re Not Entitled to Anything Index EULA

Learn to mitigateyour angerand take charge of your life

Everyone experiences anger from time to time, but when left unchecked or unbridled, this normal human emotion can becomedisruptiveanddamagerelationships. Ifyou're ready to stop lettingangercontrol your life, turn to Anger ManagementForDummies. Thistrusted sourcegivesyoutoolsto identify the source ofyouranger—whether it's fear, depression, anxiety, or stress—andoffers ways todeal with the "flight or fight"instinctthat anger produces, allowing you torelease yourselfand your lifefrom itsgrip.

Anger ManagementForDummies outlinesspecific anger management methods, skills, and exercisesthat you can use to take control of yourfeelings and actions.It provides:

• Information on the different kinds of rage, includingroad, air, andoffice
• A look atIntermittent Explosive Disorder(IED)and how tomanageaggression
• Advice onhow to deal with angry childrenandteens
• Details onhow anger is related to the "fight, flight, or freeze" response of thenervous system and prepares you to fight (for good or bad)

Overcoming anger issues requires support, mindfulness, and a bit of practice—all of which this book provides.When you're ready toface your triggers andchange your perspective on the emotions of anger or rage, let Anger ManagementForDummies give youthehelping handyouneed.

"Everyone experiences anger from time to time, but when left unchecked or unbridled, this normal human emotion can become disruptive and damage relationships. If you're ready to stop letting anger control your life, turn to Anger Management For Dummies. This trusted source gives you tools to identify the source of your anger-whether it's fear, depression, anxiety, or stress-and offers ways to deal with the "flight or fight" instinct that anger produces, allowing you to release yourself and your life from its grip. Anger Management For Dummies outlines specific anger management methods, skills, and exercises that you can use to take control of your feelings and actions"-- Provided by publisher